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Well, it's sort of the end of the year. By academic standards anyway. And I sit here, nearing my 19th birthday, one year into college, and I have broken everything and then put it all back together. It took night after night of tears and tension so intense I couldn't breathe, and yet, as I look forward to the summer and to the next year of school, I'm optimistic, and I am actually looking forward to it all. Strange how things that seemed nearly impossible four months ago (like finding success at a massive school and feeling good about myself again) are tangible and real to me now. It really hit me yesterday, as I was winding up my State Press interviews and taking my Grammar final, ecstatic after having found out that I'd received all the financial aid I'd counted on, that I am looking at my sophomore year of college as being filled with NRHH and the State Press and my good friends and classes I enjoy and (hopefully, crossing my fingers) a job. Basically, I feel good. Really good. And no, not everything is perfect. I fell out of a fucking table yesterday in a weird over-balanced mess of movement, and it was in front of people I would've rather been perfectly calm and collected around. But that's life, and after the deep bruise on my ego fades, it'll just be another story to tell. Plus, my non-existent love life is a bit of a sad story, too. But, on the whole? I'm actually getting along with my mom for the first time since I started college almost a year ago, and I am surrounding myself with good people who I care about and who care about me, too. My grades are solid, and for the most part (knock on wood), I'm healthy. So, I can deal with a little insecurity about boys, I think. So, looking back on this past year, it's pretty safe to say that while I wouldn't ever want to relive it, I also wouldn't want to re-do it. I am happy for all of the experiences I had in NY, good and bad. And I am happy about my life here in AZ. Things are good. It's good.